Today is your day, one year ago you entered our life. One year ago you changed my world forever. It is 10 minutes away from the exact moment I first meet you a year ago. I always wanted to be a mom but until I had you I was really naive in what I thought it was to be a mom. I knew a few things, I knew I would love you with all my heart, I knew that I would love to watch you learn and grow and I knew that life would never be the same. What I didn’t know was how amazing it would feel to be loved by you.
Labor was hard and in the end I thought maybe I couldn’t do this but your dad was amazing and we got through it and we meet you and almost immediately we forgot about the pain. I remember when I first held you, you looked up at me with such big eyes, I will never forget that moment and how you looked. You were born at 9:27 and after the labor we were pretty tired and went back to the room at the hospital to sleep. They wanted you to sleep in the bassinet beside my bed but you would have none of it, you wanted to sleep with me, of course I caved and let you. And still to this day, last night to be exact; you want to sleep on me.
We stayed in the hospital for two nights and then they sent us home. We got home and to be honest we were not really sure what to do. You slept so much that day, so we cleaned and held you. The next morning we got a call and we had to go back to the hospital because you had jaundice. I was so scared I could not stop crying and worrying about you. We all stayed in the hospital for another 5 nights. When they told us we could go home we didn’t want to, we liked that we had qualified people to check on you, we liked the scenes of security.
We did go home and I never put you done for about 2 months. I remember people telling me it was alright when you were sleeping to lay you beside me, but I just wanted to hold you to know you were safe. I don’t regret it, I love the cuddles.
My labor for you was pretty good. I have nothing to compare it to but it was short and that is all that mattered to me, well short and safe for you. My water broke in bed on the night of the 23rd of May. It was the day we were getting ready for your arrival. You were due June 14th so we thought we had lots of time. Once my water broke we tried several things to induce my labor naturally but nothing worked. So on May 25th we went to the hospital and they induced me at noon. My labor started at about 1, but nothing painful until around 4:30. My back hurt so much and your dad massaged my back the whole time, he is so amazing! At about 8:30 I thought I could not do this anymore and I wanted to get an epidural. They checked me and said I was close so I decided not to get one. I didn’t want one going into it so I am glad that I did not get one. About 5 minutes after they checked me I began labor. My pushing was only about 40 minutes but it felt like 20, it went so fast. The umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck so we had to slow down for a bit, but then you where there. You had a tiny little cry and once you were put in my arms you were quiet.
It is the most amazing experience in my life and you continue to be. Everyday I learn so much from you, I learn patience and how to love a little bit more and how to let the not important things go and how to spend more time doing things I love and how to really just enjoy every second.
I look forward to celebrating so many more birthdays with you my sweet little girl, thank you for blessing our lives.
With all my heart, I love you,
And of course what is a post without pictures:)
This picture is from a couple weeks back but her face is priceless, she just loves blueberries, I hate the mess they make:)